Jose Mourinho Tottenham manager

Jose Mourinho resigns as Tottenham manager: “I thought I was signing for Chelsea”

Jose Mourinho has handed his resignation to Daniel Levy after Tottenham’s 2-0 loss to Frank Lampard’s Chelsea at home on Sunday.

“Fuck Daniel Levy – Jose Mourinho”

Our award-winning journalist and reporter, Chuck Spadina, sat down with Jose Mourinho after this latest update. Here’s what the Portuguese had to say on the matter:

Q: First of all Jose, the fans want to know, why did you resign as a Tottenham manager?

A: “Oh, it was all a misunderstanding!”

Q: Ok, so you mean you are not resigning?

A: “No, I mean, signing as a Tottenham manager was a misunderstanding.”

Q: What do you mean by that Jose?

A: “I thought I was signing for Chelsea.”

Q: Why did you think that?

A: “Daniel Levy came to me wearing a Chelsea shirt. He told me he was a spokesman of Roman Abramovich and Frank Lampard would be my assistant at the Stamford Bridge. He also promised me the signings of Marouane Fellaini, Nemanja Matic, and Ashley Young. I signed the contract with my right hand while jerking off with my left.”

Q: But, you’ve been at Tottenham for a month now Jose, why are you just realizing all this?

A: “I don’t speak about that. I don’t speak or I’m in trouble. Respect, respect. 3 Premier League. 3 Premier League. Fuck Arsene Wenger. Pogba is shit. Filha da puta. Fellaini! Fellaini!”

*Jose Mourinho has exited the building.

NOTE:

This is a satire article.

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